


Forgetting the changes

by undertalefruitsalad



Series: The Swapfell Brothers [6]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-19 20:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7376215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undertalefruitsalad/pseuds/undertalefruitsalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Papyrus has changed during his relationship with Sans. What does that mean for the both of them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to see more of how I imagine their relationship to be then you can visit my tumblr, but it is nsfw for several reasons so be careful.
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/everythingundertalemystuff

„PAPYRUS, YOU HAVE CHANGED.“

The younger one looked up from the lap he has bedded himself in. Worryingly he lifted his eyebrow bones.

“is that bad?”

Sans got a thoughtful look.

“NO, NOT NECESSARILY, BUT I … IT APPEARS TO ME THAT YOU MAY HAVE CHANGED FOR ME. I DON’T WANT YOU TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT MIGHT PLEASE ME.”

Now it was Papyrus turn to make a thoughtful face. His glance wandered to the scar on Sans head, a constant reminder that he had failed him in the worst possible ways. He needed a few seconds before he had figured the words he was looking for.

“i have changed, that is true.  
i wanted to change. but it was not for you. i know you love me the way i am. but i didn’t like the way i was to you. i have always been so incredibly selfish. you have done so much good to me and i never gave anything in return. i want to please you. it makes me happy to do so. i want to be of use. i have been so weak and always depended on you. i want to give you just as much hold as you give me. if everything goes crazy i want to be you anchor you can rely on.  
i want to be the best monster i can be.  
not for you, but because of you.”

He had difficulties to phrase what he meant. Insecurity plastered his face. He had never considered that Sans might not like the person he wanted to become. 

“do you understand what i mean?”

Sans tenderly cupped his face, his eyes showed so much softness, that was only reserved for Papyrus and only for those intimate moments.

“YOU NEVER SEIZE TO AMAZE ME HOW YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS TO ME SO EASILY AND OPEN. YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. AND I FEEL HONORED THAT YOU WANT TO DO SO MUCH GOOD TO ME. THAT I AM THE REASON FOR YOU TO DRIVE YOU BECOME MORE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.”

Papyrus couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Those loving words of and looks took him in. It was like the world disappeared around him, so he and Sans were undisturbed in their closeness. 

“so you approve of the changes?”

“I APPROVE OF EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. AND IF THAT MEANS YOU WILL CHANGE, I WILL LOVE THE NEW YOU JUST AS MUCH AS THE OLD. I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.”

Hearing that filled Papyrus with … something new. A will to thrive and do something, something good for his beloved master. He had just the idea how to do that. It would be painful for Papyrus, but if he had to make sacrifices for Sans to be just as happy, he wouldn’t shy away from any task involving that.

If Sans knew what Papyrus was planning, he would have not given his approval so easily. But now he would have to deal with the consequences.


	2. Forgotten memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans wakes up without any memory of the life he had lived before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who watched "Ciel in wonderland"? I totally had to use it.

When he woke up he didn’t remember a thing. He didn’t know where he was. And he didn’t know who he was. 

There was only black void. He looked around. Nothing seemed familiar. He laid in a bed with soft sheets. In the corner was a table with several weapons on display and on the other side a computer. Also a shelf with books could be made out opposite of the bed. 

He felt empty. 

Lonely. 

Lost. 

But even though everything seemed new and familiar at the same time he couldn’t muster the will to figure out what was going on. He thought about getting up, exploring the surroundings, trying to find out why his head was in a blur, but he couldn’t find any motivation to do so.   
What for?   
Did it even matter who he was?   
Did it matter to him knowing that?

No. Not really. 

He turned to the side, nestled himself in those comfortable sheets, trying to return to the numbness of sleep. Just when he almost drifted away he heard a voice.

“m’lord are you awake?” 

That voice. It sounded familiar. It was warm and caring. 

He opened his eyes and sat up in a rush. He wanted that voice to be closer. He tried to speak. His own voice sounded raspy and hoarse but deep and vibrating so it would be heard outside.

“Yes, come in.”

The door opened. A flash of light flooded the dimmed room and a tall appearance could be made out.

“m’lord, it would be time to get up.”

The tall figure said while bowing slightly.

One side was brightly lit by the light from the corridor, the other in the shadows. But even so, even if his face was not revealed fully Sans was sure. He knew that person. He felt it. 

“Papyrus”

He whispered, and though it was barely audible the other had heard him. The face showed surprise and … something else Sans was not able to point out. 

“yes m’lord. i am here at your service. i shall bring you to the bathroom to prepare you for the day.”

With that he stepped to the bed and lifted Sans up as if he weight nothing. Surprised he immediately wrapped his arms around Papyrus. This also felt strangely familiar. And it felt nice. He laid his face in the plush of the others jacket and could make out a faint smell of bones, blood and sweat. Strangely it didn’t disgust him. It was comforting. It belonged there. Just like he belonged in those arms. The fog in his head was still there but he managed to make out some colours in the dark. Mostly shades of orange and yellow. It soothed him. 

In the bathroom he let the other undress and wash him. It seemed like it was a normal thing to do. As he was cleaned he looked into the mirror. The person looking back at him was a stranger. He saw a round face, with a mouth that showed two pointy fangs. They didn’t look very impressive. His eye lights were dim. Shining in a shallow light blue. And above his left eye was a deep ugly looking scar. It must have hurt to get that one but he didn’t recall what had happened. 

After the procedure in the bath was finished and Papyrus had helped him getting dressed he was brought into the kitchen, where food was already served. Without much interest he began to eat, thoroughly observed by the one sitting at the other end of the table. The food tasted like … something. It was not repulsive nor was it good. It was just there to be eaten, not to be enjoyed. They ate in silence. 

When they finished Papyrus guided Sans to the sofa in the Livingroom. He sat down and intuitively took the book on the little desk beside the couch. As he opened it to have a look he felt a movement on the seats. Papyrus had also dropped to the couch and was now lowering his head to drop it in Sans lap. He let him. It felt warm and good. Like they were meant to be that way. 

The book couldn’t keep his interest. So he laid it aside and instead stared at the peaceful face on his legs. Even though peaceful the other one was definitely not asleep and Sans began to pet the head with soft strokes. It was very calming. Sans was surprised at all the dents and scars that could be easily overlooked but were prominent to the touch. Papyrus body was covered in clothes aside from his head and hands. But those parts he could see showed many signs of fights and abuse. 

It filled him with sorrow. This creature should have never had to suffer. What must have happened to him? It pained him to not know. Especially since he felt he should.

The smile that had appeared at the others face was light-hearted and Sans knew he needed to see that more. Without even noticing his own mouth had formed into a smile while observing and caressing the other monster he felt so attached to without knowing why. 

The day passed by just like that. They hadn’t left the house and only exchanged a few more words, where Sans found out what his name was. But mostly they were just being close to each other. When it was time to go to bed Papyrus settled next to him reading him a story. He could have sworn he had heard the story before. Bringing himself closer the other wrapped his arm around the body and as the story was finished and the taller one made his way to leave Sans grabbed hold of him.

“Stay”

Was all Sans said.

And so he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They didn't do the do. They were just sleeping in the same bed.


	3. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans questions why he doesn't remember and is not amused with the answers he gets.

The next day Sans awoke he remembered everything from the day before. But aside from that nothing else. This was … frustrating. Yesterday when he woke up he couldn’t care less what was going on or why. But spending the time with Papyrus changed his mind. He wanted to know more about him and their relationship. With da huff he rolled to the side, trying to get closer to the wonderful warmth emitted from the one that had stayed with him. 

He felt a deep fondness watching the other sleep. Unlike yesterday there was no smile on his face it was absolutely free of anything. Pain, joy, fear, it just was. He felt the dire need to protect that face. Carefully he placed a kiss on Papyrus sleeve and could make out a slight movement. He had woken the other. The smile returned. And those eyes, gentle and caring looked at him, looked at him like he was everything. He could feel his soul beating harder. 

“good morning master. how are you feeling today?”

What a good question. Indeed how did he feel? He wasn’t sure but that pounding in his chest… 

He decided to put it aside for now. He shook his head and looked at Papyrus.

“It doesn’t matter. How are you feeling today?”

A slight frown was visible on the others face but it disappeared when he gave his answer.

“i am happy, because you are with me.”

He smiled brightly at Sans who returned the smile immediately. Following a sudden impulse he jumped forward and let himself fall on Papyrus while wrapping him in his arms. It was so nice. So incredibly nice. Being this close, this open to him and letting his emotions show. He breathed in deeply and pulled himself even closer. Never wanting to let go. This was where he belonged. He could sense the soul of the other, feeling a connection trying to form with his own. In return Papyrus wrapped his own arms around Sans, holding him tight. He could feel his soul resonating and responding to Sans presence. And as much as he tried, he could not prevent the tiniest sob make its way out. He knew Sans would react to that and he didn’t want this moment to end. So as he felt 

Sans trying to get up he simply hold on to him, successfully preventing him from escaping the embrace.

“What was that?”

Asked Sans, worry lacing his voice. 

“nothing m’lord. nothing to worry about.”

He nuzzled his face in the crook of Sans neck, hoping that he would just let it be and enjoy the moment. He couldn’t remember when, if ever, they had this kind of an intimate moment. 

Indeed, Sans let go of it and they just laid there.

But even though this closeness, this happiness felt good, something in the back of his mind told Sans to be more wary. Not because of Papyrus, but for reasons he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

 

After quite some time they finally got up and stated the day. Sans insisted of doing the bathroom routine of his own. He was no babybones. While showering he set his mind to finding out what had happened to him. He needed to know more. He needed to know what his relation to Papyrus was. They would have to have a talk and he had an inkling that it would not be a pleasant conversation.

When he got down breakfast was already prepared, just like yesterday. But he was not interested in the food. Instead he observed the other skeleton, while trying to think of a way to start his questions. Sans settled with putting first things first. 

“Papyrus, what is our relationship? The only thing I knew when I woke up yesterday was that I needed to be close to you. I didn’t even remember my own name. But I remembered you, so you have to be important to me.”

He saw a colourful blush appear on Papyrus cheeks. He avoided looking Sans in the eyes and was seemingly not sure how to answer that question or how to deal with the facts he had been just told. As the time passed without Papyrus making any progress of answering Sans decided to ask something different.

“Why do I not remember anything in the first place?”

At that Papyrus got really nervous. He began to sweat and his hands were moving restless without actually doing something but still he failed to give an answer and Sans became impatient. With an annoyed look and finger tapping on the table he asked another question.

“How was I before I forgot myself?”

When Papyrus would still not give a response Sans had enough. His patience only got so far and as much as he felt towards that monster he needed information and if Papyrus was not willing or capable to provide them he had to find other ways. With that he stood up and made his way towards the door that lead outside. 

“what are you doing?”

Papyrus called in slight panic. 

“I think it’s quite obvious what I am doing. I am going out!”

“but you can’t go out!”

Papyrus looked truly worried.

“I actually think I can. You see I have working legs therefore I am capable of walking and can GO wherever I want to.”

“that’s not what I meant”

“I KNOW THAT! So would you like to tell me why you think you are in the position to tell me I can’t go out?”

Sans became angry. Who did the other think he was, telling him what to do?

“it is dangerous outside your highness.”

Sans took a deep breath. There was no use in storming off head over heels if he didn’t know what he would get himself into. 

“THEN TALK TO ME PAPYRUS! WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN?”

He wasn’t screaming, but he was loud. Papyrus rubbed the back of his neck, very uncomfortable with the position he was in. Sans repeated the question that burned in him the most, this time more silent and with his head dropped. 

“Why can’t I remember anything except you?”

He hesitated shortly before he finally gave an answer.

“i was surprised you could remember me. you were supposed to forget everything, including me.”

“I was SUPPOSED to forget? How? Why?”

Papyrus sighed in defeat. A pained expression covered his face. He dropped to his knees.

“i am so sorry my lord. i asked undyne to make something. something that would make you forget.”

Sans was shocked. The one he had trusted was also the one responsible for his whole problem? What a joke. He had a hard time pressing out the one word that was important enough for him to voice it.

“Why?”

“because i love you! i wanted for you to be happy. and i thought if you wouldn’t know what was going on in the underground, all the pain, all the problems of our past, all the resets, if you didn’t knew about them you could be happy. you mean so much to me and you have done everything to make sure i had it good and i just wanted to do that for you too!”

At the last words Papyrus voice began to crack. He was at the brink of tears. Sans didn’t need to look at him to see the desperation, it was clear in the tone he spoke.

“i have failed you once again.”

Papyrus words were barely more than a whisper.

Sans didn’t fully comprehend what Papyrus was saying, of course not, he couldn’t remember. But he felt the sincerity. Slowly he made his way towards to cowering skeleton. When he reached him he lowered himself to kneel before him. The taller one still didn’t dare to look at him so Sans took his face in his hands, turning it so he had to look at him. They shared a look, and Sans could make out nothing more but love and utter devotion and trust. He leaned his forehead against the taller ones’ as he spoke, calmer this time.

“What in the underground made you think I would be okay with forgetting anything about you? Even if not all memories with the two of us were good, even if most other memories were painful. How could you ever think I would want to forget the time I had with you? I want to cherish and be able to recall every second I have shared with you.” 

It was true. The worst part of not remembering was simply that he couldn’t bring up any memory of the two of them and that is what pained him the most. 

“Didn’t you expect me to ask you about my past? I mean, how would it have worked anyway.”

Papyrus sniffed shortly, reached out for Sans hand and held it thight.

“i’d had to give you some pills every day to keep you from remembering the past. but everything new you would experience would stay. when you don’t take them anymore the memories should return within a few weeks.”

“You seriously drugged me?”

That was just ridiculous. How crazy can one be? But then again, he didn’t know anything about himself. He might as well be not any better, because the following sentence was not something he seemed to come up with as a conscious decision.

“I will have to punish you for this. But it will wait till I have thought of a befitting sentence.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think they both are aware of the resets. Though both deal with it in different ways.


	4. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans has made up his mind in what consequences will ensue for Papyrus behavior.

Indeed, a few days passed and Sans had gained a lot of his memories back. Papyrus had told the truth. Most of them were sad, bad and painful. But he finally knew what bound him to Papyrus. And he still stuck to what he had said. He wanted to remember it all. Even if it had been hard. It was important. Especially the bad memories. He needed to remember to not do something horrible again. He needed to remember that the day he had given his soul to Papyrus and had experienced how incredibly vulnerable it felt, he had sworn to himself that he would never again punish Papyrus by hurting his soul. So it took a while to come up with a proper decision as to how Papyrus should be put to justice.  
They had mostly been back in their usual routine when one night Sans called Papyrus to his room.

“I KNOW NOW WHAT I WILL DO WITH YOU. AS PUNISHMENT FOR DRUGGING ME AND MAKING ME FORGET ABOUT MYSELF AND MY PAST.”

He hold out his bare hand. 

“PAPYRUS GIVE ME YOUR SOUL.”

The fear in his brothers eyes was like a dagger in Sans heart.

“m-m-my lord, i know i have done wrong but please …”

“GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!”

Sans all but screamed, he didn’t want to see his brother like this anymore.

That shout shocked Papyrus. But he started moving. As he fondled his clothes he was shivering. Papyrus was a pitiful display when he gave his soul into his masters’ hands. He closed his eyes and prepared for the pain, for the suffering but suddenly he felt so much, too much, joy and happiness and warmth and hope. Tenderness and most of all love. He looked up, tears in his eyes. And what he saw let him doubt his sanity. His master had exposed his rips and there Papyrus could see his soul, closely bound to Sans’. They were shining brightly. 

Sans had never let someone close to his soul. He let Papyrus have it once but Sans hadn’t let him in like this. 

“I understand what you did and why you did it. I don’t approve of it and if you ever do something like that again I will forget myself. I am doing this now because I want you to feel how I feel, that you understand what you mean to me and what you did to me here. I had lost myself; who I was and everything that made me the monster I am. The only thing that I could recall was you. You were the only reason I even opened my eyes after losing everything else. If I imagined I would have lost you too… I don’t even want to think about it.”

Papyrus was crying bitterly. He had only meant good but he had just hurt his master more. Was he doomed to be his brothers’ pain for the rest of eternity? Everything he did only seemed to hurt Sans in some way. Even when he tried to make it right he only made him suffer. And how much he suffered. He could feel it. It hurt. It hurt so badly. How could Sans even stand that? Papyrus was overwhelmed by all those emotions and was close to dropping to the floor. But before he could faint Sans set his soul tenderly back where it belonged. 

Holding Papyrus close in his arms he led them both to the floor. With careful movement he caressed Papyrus and tried to soothe his shaking. 

“I hope you understand now.” 

They simply stayed like this. After a while Papyrus shaking ebbed off and he felt capable of vocalizing his thoughts.

“Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I … think I do understand a bit better now. But there is one thing: while you couldn’t remember how we usually were you have been … happier. More open with your feelings. And simply seemed more content. Is there a way that this can stay?”

Sans made a thoughtful mine. He knew what Papyrus meant. Due to the fact that he didn’t know about their problematic past and how the underground was in general he had felt freer to indulge in his emotions and show them in less subtle ways. But now… he had those memories back. He knew what was going on around them. 

A soft smile played around his features. It had felt good. And since it had worked for those two days, it could probably work for longer if Sans would try. He initiated a deep kiss with Papyrus who was more than willing to take it. Sighing he pulled Sans closer. But far too soon the smaller one ended the kiss. 

“I think we will find a way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I just finished Sans soul sharing, it only made sense to put this to an end as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't always do romance, but when I do it's gonna get sappy.
> 
> Because I didn't make that clear. Papyrus wants to become more proactive to be able to protect his brother. If he manages to do so and if that is even a good idea; only time will tell.


End file.
